Pre-Expat Navel Gazing Part 3: The evolving nature of time spent outside the US

In the 20's, it was all about becoming a more complex person through the amount of different experiences and places visited. Major goal was to turn into a different person that bucked the tradition of the staid world in affluent Midwest America. A world characterized by good grades, just a little partying, good job out of school and eventually dating someone "nice" and the house in suburbs. A summer of riding on chicken busses in Central America around the fringe of a civil conflict in its final convulsions is not in that narrative. There was much thought about the stories to tell upon the return and the sharing and subsequent proving out of newfound complexity. Which did come true, but the audience was largely parental. Everyone else either couldn't relate (Ohio) or had already done wilder stuff (Boulder).

In the 30's, it becomes obvious that simply seeing the third world and existing there for awhile does not really make anyone all that unique. Simply going bizarre places no longer proves anything, since every bizarre place has been seen by people who actually wouldn't fit any definition of adventurous. But disconnecting from your home society on an expat thing is one big way to access something that you can't otherwise: understanding what it means to give up security at home for dubious and potentially catastrophic financial outcomes later. It is a true sense of leaping into the unknown which carries an impact that increases exponentially with the terror of that leap.

In the 40's, and facing this Berlin move with young children, the mix changes yet again. Gone are the motivations to do this that connect personal complexity with time spent outside the US, or the pursuit of exciting travel stories. You can't talk about it much when you return since everything out of your mouth tends to sound like you are slumming it by being back in America. Even when you have good stories, most people glaze over in about 30 seconds anyway and start thinking about what they are having for dinner. No, this is a "going inside" kind of thing now. You do this because you generally are more interested with life undergoing expat challenges than undergoing US challenges. There's no return in talking about the experience. So you take your journey alone, internally, and share it later only if someone truly asks about it because they've been in that space too.

Kids present a new angle to this mix as well: You aren't hiking every weekend and all-night bussing places with kids. You are keeping it a little more localized and getting your return that way. Berlin will be wonderful for this, since it has so much to offer. It also happens to sit largely in the middle of nowhere compared to Santiago, so you don't have the option to really go to huge places every weekend anyway. Berlin probably wouldn't have worked for us in the way Santiago did because we aren't the kind of people who need a city for the sake of a city. It was all about the environs. So kids will help keep us focused on what's outside the door rather than what's at the end of a 5 hour bus ride to a hiking trail.

Overall, we're just insanely lucky to have this.