Cody's Bike Trials

Cody recently made the jump from strider bike to pedal bike, which was cause for great joy and merriment among the family. Family bike trips together now suddenly appeared on the horizon as an option, albeit in a very dim and fuzzy way. This is progress. But on Sunday this took a dramatic step backwards when Cassandra very nearly threw Cody and his bike into the river.

What happened? Blame it on Putin and Russian airstrikes on little-known Damascus suburbs held by rebels. These actions have created a steady stream of refugees heading to Europe, many of whom end up in Germany. In an effort to help out these displaced people, we gathered up a bag of toys and went shopping for some items that were listed as being needed with the idea that we'd take them by bike to the nearest Syria refugee center. We found one in nearby Wilmersdorf and got everyone ready for a Sunday bike ride.

We gave Cody the option of riding with us or riding in the bike seat. He opted to ride in the bike seat and to bring the bike along as he wanted to ride it later. Seat was secured on Daddy's bike, Cody's bike hanging off the back. Highly unstable but workable. We ride to the refugee center and drop off our stuff, then all four of us mount up and start down the sidewalk to get to a park we had seen on the way over.

Cody is hesitant and obliges us, but he is not as excited about biking now. We go a block and he is lagging. He's quite capable of keeping up at the speed we had, but he is exercising control and boundary-testing operations, so he dawdles along slowly, whimpering softly. When it is obvious no one is responding to the whimpering, the volume steadily cranks up.

We are bummed that he doesn't take to this like he should, which is basically to be Eddie Merckx from day one. But we don't want to give in to the whimpering, since it will soon turn into a full-on whine. It is brinkmanship at its finest. Together we cross a street and continue into a big park, trying to egg him on. Berlin is flat flat flat, so there is almost no terrain reason he could rally around in any protest.

Being rational adults we reason that we brought his bike so he could ride it. If there was no interest in riding it, why did he require us to bring it? We are in a park. There is a nice path. It coincides with the larger family vision of being outdoorsy bike-riding people. HE WILL RIDE THIS BIKE.

We continue and the whining escalates into screams.

This seems to take forever, as it always does when you are listening to your child screaming. We've taken several loud minutes to go 30 feet on a flat path. The game continues. Cassandra and Jasper eventually ride off. Screaming spikes in volume. He's still pedaling, but clearly is expending most of his energy on crying. Also, he has found a stick that he is holding in one hand, which also makes it difficult to steer. Dropping the prized stick is suggested, but the very idea is fuel for more emotion.

I think about parenting stories I have heard. Things like when a child is found smoking one of daddy's cigars, the kid is locked in the closet with instructions not to come out until he's smoked all the cigars in the box. Possibly these are urban legends, but you do wonder what the long term effects would be of "tough love" on a tantruming 4 year old. Will riding 50 yards down the path and stopping compel him to shut up and ride or will it scar him forever, the site of all family disappearing into the distance? I ride down the path opting to gamble on this.

Cody does not like this approach much either, and increases the volume. Pedalling slowly, weaving back and forth. Other park users are staring at the drama. German kids do not behave in this manner. What on earth could be wrong with this child, they are thinking. They are also staring at us with eyes that confirm our failures as parents.

We finally stop at a road and wait for the screamfest to arrive. Cody finally closes to within 20 feet of us where the path makes a gentle uphill grade to the crosswalk. Faced with this Everest of an obstacle he stops and howls. Bike falls over. Cassandra cannot listen to any more and begins a very public scolding.

"Why did you want to bring you bike if this is what happens? Should we just leave it here for another kid? Maybe we should take it back and give it to the refugee kids! Maybe I'll throw it in the river!"

Cody whimpers about how he is not super excited about the whole biking thing. In between sobs he allows that he "only really wants candy and iPad movies."

We tell him that is not possible. We decide to cut the ride short and adjourn to a Mexican restaurant and order margarita (Cassandra) and a half liter of beer (Jay).